ok so there’s this carnival thing in the town where my dad works that I’ve been going to for as long as I can remember and when Michael and I started getting more serious and long term in the back of my mind I was like I’m going to bring him with me and for some reason I really wanted to and it’s silly but you know what
and him and his friends always hang out on days we have off from school and so I told him about this a week ago and he said oh yeah he’d go and blah blah blah but we tend to make plans that don’t happen and then I feel bad because I’m sure he cancels on his friends to hang out with me
BUT I was really looking forward to this festival thing so I was like “hey are you free tomorrow?” and he was like “no” and I died inside and was about to get rather upset but then he texted me again and was like “I have plans with you :)” and OHMIGAWD I JUST CAME BACk TO LIFE RIGHT THEN RIGHT THERE AFHAJDSFSD :D
It’s odd when I read your texts in his voice
I don’t do it on purpose
But honestly, for a split second, I could’ve sworn I was talking to him
I hate school. Mostly because of the people. You’re all like little puppets, whether society or your own ego is controlling you. It’s obnoxious.
Michael came to my game today, and made time for me between his own shit with friends. Which was really nice of him. He makes me happy. c:
I hate grand gestures. Little things like this, that’s what lets me know he cares.
nothing bothers me much anymore. nothing is wrong.
I just don’t feel like talking or writing or drawing or doing anything except laying in bed and listening to the album High Violet. the way his baritone voice echoes with layered words, it’s comforting.
I feel dead inside.
I wanna love,
I wanna leave.
I want you to love me,
I want you to leave me.
I want to stand where I can see,
I’m watching you love me,
And I’m watching you leave me now.
I wish I could be,
Somebody else.
I wish I could see,
You and myself.
I wish there was something inside me,
To keep you beside me.
And say,
What you really feel.
You know I need,
Something that’s real.
I wish there was something inside me,
To keep you beside me.
I wanna know if I could be,
Someone to turn to,
That could never hurt you.
But i know what you think of me,
You had a breakthrough,
And now I’m just bad news for you.
it’s such a beautiful day outside
I feel numb. I just want to be able to do something beautiful. at night I can’t sleep so I just write and draw and it isn’t all awful but I dunno, I can’t help but feel like everything in my head could be turned into something pleasant on paper.
I want to go on an adventure somewhere.
I just want someplace I can think and learn and feel free and not so lonely. I dunno.
